I am a 24 year old, unwed, young professional. My life has become one based on what I want to project to the world. Dreams and goals have been pushed aside and I have started to wonder what this means for my future.
Freshmen year of college I changed my major from elementary education to interior design. The idea of sitting in a classroom all day with 25 kids suddenly seemed like a Midwestern occupation. The idea of being a big city interior designer who glammed up spaces was much more appealing to me. I am extremely happy with this decision.
However, sometime between this decision and graduation I was drawn off the path. The big city idea was overrun when I was offered a job at a design firm in my hometown. This seemed perfect since my whole family was here and I was suddenly eager to make this little piece of Earth better designed. The decision to stay in my hometown was provoked even more by my boyfriend, whose family and job are also here.
These decisions have led me to where I am now: living in my hometown, working at a job that I love but where there is no room for growth within the company, with my afraid-of-commitment-boyfriend, and wondering if I will ever see those dreams that I had six years ago. I am happy now with life but I still think about those dreams.
I do still want to make it to a big city and have a job where I work with high-profile clients and cater to their every design need. Often times I wonder if I will make it there. Will it forever remain a dream? Will it make me happier than I am now? These are questions that will never be answered unless I make a decision. And when I decide will it feel pressured or like I am settling? I want to make the most of this life and I want every decision to be educated but I also want to be spontaneous.
Life, I have learned, can be funny and I know that everything will work out as it should; until then I will keep daydreaming, thinking, praying, and enjoying what I have.
x’s and o’s
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